By: David de Young, Zosia Blue
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Lady Hard-On at Future Lisa's Anti-Valentine's Day Show - Photo by David de Young
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2006 marked the fifth annual Anti-Valentine’s Day Show at the Terminal Bar hosted by the indomitable Future Lisa. Walking in to the Nordeast music club, the crowd seemed regular enough, squeezed together at small tables, laughing over pitchers of beer. Then there was Venus, of the on-hiatus All the Pretty Horses, leaning against the back bar in her requisite leather corset, torn fishnet stockings and long, black hair. Oh, and the also fish-netted (and spike-booted) Future Lisa, gyrating like Tori Amos over a keyboard on a side stage. Oh, and then there was Thosquanta on the main-stage, deceivingly the band-next-door in jeans and t-shirts, until tall, pretty Jen Plum made a sweet face, leaned into the microphone, and her voice distorted like a hellish demon, ready to rip your kidneys out with her teeth.
We were pleasantly jarred by Thosquanta’s casual appearances and their growly death metal sound, which ironically perhaps, also had the effect of making you want to gently tap along with your toes. While they took a bow and dismantled their gear, two women in ruffly pink dresses and long, blonde braids peeked their heads out from the bathroom. For a moment, I thought I was losing my mind, but as they hobbled on the stage, I realized my first impression was correct: they were taped together.
Self described as a “Siamese twin glamour polka band,” Lady Hard-On introduced themselves as Lady Slipper and Lady Pleasure and proceeded to play a half hour of one-minute long, out-of-tune, polka-influenced medleys about meat and pubic hair. What, you say? What, indeed! Their piano skills and ability to keep in unison were shaky at best, but it was two songs in before I realized this was part of the act. Any duo that introduces a song by saying, “This is a song about meat,” has a special quality about them. Lady Hard-On raised the energy in the room by about six hundred percent, and by the end of their short set, the large crowd was whistling and yelling for more. Lady Hard-On might very well be the antidote for your indie-rock blues.
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David de Young spoken word at the Terminal - Photo by Zosia Blue
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Future Lisa played a brief set as means of a transition with growly lyrics worthy of P.J. Harvey (“I want the manic / without the depression”) while our very own David de Young climbed onto the stage for a short poetry-reading. Fueled by the twin’s energy, de Young, in a purple shirt and trademark glasses, recited four poems, all worthy of the Anti-Valentine’s title. The last one was a crowd favorite and is short enough to reproduce here:
“The Last Words We Ever Said to Each Other”
I said, “I’m really busy right now. Can you call me back in a half hour?”
She said, “Okay.”
During his set, de Young jokingly invited a heckler from the audience to read (Heckler: “Hey, I know some poetry, too.” de Young: “Well then, you’re next.”), which the guy took as an honest invitation. After de Young had descended the stage, said audience member grabbed the mic and yelled a charming, Mom-pleasing rap about bitches and hos. What, again, you say? I can’t tell you.
Trailer Park Queen, a cover band whose lead singer is a large woman in a pink flamingo dress, with a two-foot tall Bride of Frankenstein wig, took the stage next. Always a crowd-pleaser, TPQ does hysterical and mutilated (“mutilated” is a far more accurate term than “reworked” or “altered”) versions of standard rock fare. Their set included “Here Comes My Beer” to the tune of Tom Petty’s “Here Comes My Girl,” and a take off on Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” about a vibrator that “only takes four AA’s.” One of the best things about Trailer Park Queen’s performances of “revised” hits is that they play them so straight that if you aren’t paying attention to the lyrics, you might accidentally mistake them for a regular cover band.
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Trailer Park Queen at the Terminal - Photo by David de Young
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Next, show organizer Future Lisa did a set with her full band, which also includes Larry Ravenswood, and Brian Miller of Codger.
Unfortunately, we had to leave for our next rock-venture before Venus and her wife, English professor Lynette Reini-Grandell, performed, but our spies tell us the two provided some playful, almost vaudevillian humor in their interactions. Lynette read poetry, sometimes referring to her relationship with Venus, while Venus, setting up behind her, interjected with guitar sounds. Future Lisa shared that Venus’s solo set itself included three new songs as well as “intimate and sensual” performances of some All The Pretty Horses standards. “It was like we were all close friends being told secrets,” she said in an email the day after the show.
Location Info:
The Terminal Bar
Artist Info: Future Lisa, Lady Hard-On, Thosquanta, Trailer Park Queen, Venus
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